04 April 2007

Separation anxiety

After nearly a month of living separately, I'm close to wits' end without my boyfriend. His work is so very demanding of late that he has been working on average 50 hours of overtime a week for the last month. He's making a lot of money, which has benefited our household greatly, but it's also straining me, and perhaps him too, emotionally.

This weekend, he'll be home for three days. It's Easter this Sunday, and my children are here, too. All of that coming together to make for the picture perfect family weekend. The flip side is that it also makes for an intense time. Having so little face time among us in general sets my emotions on high with all around me, even the dog--poor Beau. It's as if I try to cram a week's worth of togetherness into 48 hours, so it's not hard for things to go awry.

When my children are home, it's even harder. If I spend all my time in the bedroom with my man, I feel like a shit-father for neglecting them. When I put all my focus on "doing family stuff," the weekend comes to a close, and I feel neglected for not getting enough alone time with my man.

Somehow this weekend, I'll find a balance, and maybe my man will consider going only three weeks on his crazy schedule before coming home again.

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