24 May 2007

All New Separation Anxiety

First, I'll give my boyfriend some credit. After Easter, he cut back his hours and started coming home more regularly, pretty much every weekend. For that extra time, I've been very grateful.

Then at the start of May, I got the word from him that he would be returning in June to Idaho for a 6-month gig at a big power plant building a new turbine. He was there two years ago on a similar job for the same client. It drove me near to madness. Though none of this is his fault because I'm responsible for my emotions, for getting help if I need it, for not letting myself sink into depression, with his being away for so long, the latter is where I went and deep. There were whole weekends where I sat in the dark, and I engaged in some fairly dangerous behaviors.

Knowing somewhat in advance about new upcoming departure, I've been better able to prepare myself. Now there's Beau here to keep me company instead of being alone all the time. John has agreed to make sure we see each other in person monthly rather than on the six week schedule we did last time. To adjust to the time difference, I'm planning on a siesta daily after work so that I can stay up a little later at night to talk to him on the phone without being exhausted for work the next day.

When my kids are with me on the odd weekend or for school vacations, I'll make sure we do some fun family activities. Like we did last time, we'll make some care packages to send to John while he's away from us. Although he doesn't express it very well, he gets lonely, and he appreciates knowing he's missed.

With planning, good habits at home and more communication with my man, I think I'll avoid the depressed lows this time around. It's only six months.

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